Sunday, September 12, 2010

A Public Service Announcement: Hide Your Junk!

OK, as you know, I attend the occasional comic book / sci fi convention. In 2010 this included Toronto Comic Con, Ad Astra, Polaris, Celebration V, and Fan Expo. Now, even if you've never been to such an event before, you are, no doubt, aware that many attendees at a "con" will be in costume. Some choose to dress as a character from a movie or TV show, and others will opt to recreate a character from the pages of a comic book. Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Wolverine. You get the picture.

I applaud anyone who has the nerve to do this in public. I myself, being a naturally shy guy, always get the butterflies in the stomach when I suit up in one of my Star Wars costumes before a public event. But overcoming nervousness and facing that stage fright is part of the thrill.

Bears like me don't do so well in spandex, which is why my costumes tend to include loose fitting jumpsuits and lots of distracting armour so you don't focus on the belly.

I do have a fondness for a man in tight spandex (go figure!) but I have seen an interesting trend among the male comic book cosplayers. I like to think that these men are oblivious to what they are putting out there. Here are some photos I've found from various cons to illustrate what I mean.

Let's start with Superman. Great costume. Great boots. Unfortunately the tight red briefs leave little to the imagination!

The Flash looks a little too "excited" to be having his photo taken. Shwing!

Holy snakes Batman! Robin appears to have something making its way down his left leg.

I believe this fellow is Space Ghost. Evidently his compass is pointed north-northeast.

And last but not least, Wolverine. Nice ... er ... "helmet." You know you have a problem when strangers can make out the details of your private anatomy.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against male genitalia. But I don't think the average con attendee is looking to see some guy's "junk" in spandex. The comic book heroes that these guys are trying to emulate typically have a nondescript bulge up front. This is what your costume should look like also.

So, here's my advice, fellas. Leave the boxers (or boxer briefs) at home and invest in a tight-fitting jockstrap/cup or better yet get yourself a Dance Belt. Never heard of a dance belt? It's the underwear that the male ballet dancers wear. It is padded and gives a guy a nice rounded contour up front without showing off everything. It looks like this:

Yes, a prominent phallus is something to be proud of, but please don't display it at a comic book convention - pointed up, down, to the side, or snaking down your pant leg. Let's just leave that to the imagination.


  1. I'm sorry to leave my opinion, but I think you're too anxious to observe the details of the genitalia of Cosplayers. Perhaps more than themselves.
    If a woman is naked in an event, probably nobody would make any comment.
    When it comes to men, male jealousy is just degrades. Who bothers with the genitalia of others are those who feel offended by them, usually those who are not proud of itself.
    We apologize but we will not cut off and no kneading tight underpants in what life has given us. Sorry for you.

  2. It's so seldom that we get to see men showing even a little in public, what the hell's wrong with it when it happens, and who knows how lucky these guys might have gotten by airing the goods a little. Get over it.